So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I just put wine in my tea
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Will exercising make me less horny?
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