Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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