i may or may not be watching the land before time
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
