This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is Oprah even human
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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