If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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