saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
