This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
