Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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