you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
