just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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