perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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