just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
