I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bring me that man meat
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