He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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