hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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