Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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