Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
