the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
