i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
