he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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