He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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