Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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