Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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