We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
