So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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