its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
