tell your sister to shave her snatch
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
