I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
