id be glad to
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
