Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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