just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
