Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so let's talk penis.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
