Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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