Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
