whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You are a genius and a whore.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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