He is such a slut. More and more my type.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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