Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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