Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
