I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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