oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
