My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
