yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
