Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
