in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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