I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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