He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
