that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
