I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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