...so i touched it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
