Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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