I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
