You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
