Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
