I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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