Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
