Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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