apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
