well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
