she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
