I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Let's get the cat blown out
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
